Earlier today I was thinking on her to analysis and reply to my previous post but Bibian Chinenye Pius-Urum lifted that from me with this facebook post.
Here is 99% of what happens when you are desperately in need of the title “mrs”, and parading your “fish brain” with some guys who just want to get into your pant all in the name of marriage before 30
Below is the post from Bibian Chinenye Pius-Urum facebook page
“Yesterday, I was going through the comments section of a Facebook post and I saw a comment from someone whose name appeared familiar. I ignored the comment and kept scrolling.
After I’d left the post, I went back and clicked on the name. Curiosity will not kill me. The man was not my friend, but he looked familiar.
I clicked on the message icon and boom! I remembered him. A lying-bragging-cheating-sunavabich that wanted to marry me.
I met him at a friend’s party, we exchanged numbers and became friends on Facebook. This guy disturbed my poor life for a whole year. Mounted pressure on me to marry him. He said every woman had an expiry date and the courses that women studied made them expire quicker. I was studying law and I’d expire if I graduated without being married or at least, being engaged.
I almost believed him with my fish brain.
He kept inviting me to his place in Enugu and Abuja (he said he had houses in both places) and I kept insisting that he should come visit me instead. We never met again.
This guy would tell me that one senator’s son was visiting him, he was having a meeting with the governor of one northern state, he was attending Arthur Nzeribe’s daughter’s wedding as a special guest, he’d just got off the phone with my governor and my governor was trying to fix an appointment with him.
He told me that he’d be going unopposed to the House of Reps in 2015. He desperately needed to get married so that they’d take him more seriously and he wanted to marry me then, in 2013. He’d always ask me how I’d like to be addressed, nwunye Honourable or Mrs his name.
Every morning, he’d reel out his titles to me and insist that I use at least two of them while addressing him.
He said he’d made enquiries about me, found out that I come from a poor home and he was our messiah. He’d turn our lives around for good with his money. All I needed to do was to just say yes to his marriage proposal.
Something was fishy about him and his desperation to get married. One day, while we were talking, I asked him about his wife. He said I was insulting him. Instead of concentrating on making myself more marriageable, I was busy listening to rumour mongers.
I told him that;
1. I wanted more from life than being Mrs Somebody.
2. I’d rather be a governor than just be OK with being the governor’s wife, when I know that I’ve got all it takes.
3. I wasn’t desperate to get married and I don’t see myself ever being desperate to get married, because I’ve never seen marriage as a do or die affair.
4. I’d climb through the ladder of my career as a lawyer and make sure that I get to the top, married or not, expired or not.
I later found out that he was married and had two beautiful children who he carefully hid from social media. I cut off all forms of communication with him, blocked his number and unfriended him on Facebook.
I also found out that his friend(who was also my friend then) told him that all you needed to do to sleep with an Abakaliki girl was to promise her marriage. Unfortunately, he knocked on the wrong door.
Pictures of his wife and children are currently scattered all over his Facebook wall. He’s not in the House of Reps. Politically, he’s as irrelevant as the UEUE in queue in our state. Even his grammar has not fared better. He may be doing very well for himself right now, but that’s none of my business.
On the other hand, I’m on the road to achieving everything that I said I would. I don’t know if I’ve expired or not, but marriage is still not one of my priorities. Well… unless Alhaji proposes sha or I find a willing fine boy. (I hope no one reports me to my parents for writing this)
For the first time, I took stock of my life. I compared my 2018 self to my 2013 self and I saw how far I’ve come, the ceilings that I’ve shattered, the legs that I’ve broken and all that I’ve achieved. I gave myself a pat on the back.
I’m not yet where I want to be, I’m not even close; but I’m definitely on the right track.
*** *** ***
You need to do stocktaking sometimes, create a mental progress sheet for yourself; perhaps, you’ll see how far you’ve come, cut yourself some slack and drink a glass of wine.”